You know you’re a Green-Neck when…

You get excited when you see a hybrid car.

You like the way solar panels look on the roof of a house.

You download music to your music player instead of buying the CD — because it reduces pollution and waste.

You think people who drive Hummers are stupid.

You don’t use bug spray in your home.

You’d rather plant a bush than elect one.

You feel sorry for trees when they get cut down.

You know intuitively than global warming is real and caused by pollution.

You wonder how the people who run Exxon sleep at night.

You’d rather visit a mountain waterfall than a shopping mall.

You know that trout are the "canaries in the coal mine" for water quality.

You’d like to see the OPEC countries run out of money before they run out of oil.

Your mouth doesn’t salivate when you see a deer.

You hunt bears with a camcorder.

You know Cradle To Cradle does NOT involve babies.

You tinker with the power-saving features of your computer.

You invest in green companies even when their track record doesn’t look good.

You are suspicious about Wal-Mart selling organic food.

You don’t scare a snake in your backyard even when you have a shovel in your hands.

You can’t get all the stuff to be recycled into your car when its time to haul it off.

Green-Necks Unite!!!

Copyright © 2007 The Better Information Group, Inc.

Bears and Humans

The challenges of designing products to be easy to use:

Link: Paul Thurrott Bitten by WGA

Back in the 1980s, Yosemite National Park was having a serious problem with bears: They would wander into campgrounds and break into the garbage bins. This put both bears and people at risk. So the Park Service started installing armored garbage cans that were tricky to open — you had to swing a latch, align two bits of handle, that sort of thing. But it turns out it’s actually quite tricky to get the design of these cans just right. Make it too complex and people can’t get them open to put away their garbage in the first place. Said one park ranger, "There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists."

John Spoofs Again with New Focus

Apparently when it’s too hot to be in the fields, the progressive farmer writes articles.

Link: The Spoof – Scientists Discover Gene That Causes Fundamentalism and Homosexuality.

Bonn, Germany – “We never saw that one coming,” said Dr. Fenton Weirdbank, head of research at the Bonn International Center for Genetic Research.

"For years we have thought there might be a genetic predisposition for homosexuality on one of the genes that gets activated at puberty. We have been attempting to isolate the expression of that gene.

Little did we suspect that the same gene is also responsible for fundamentalist thinking. But when we went through the sequence step by step we saw it. The only difference between a person becoming gay or a fundamentalist is that when the gene gets expressed, the helix in the DNA becomes straighter and more rigid in the fundamentalist."

"It looks …

John Spoofs Again

John is a productive Spoofer. And there’s always an important message underneath!

Link: The Spoof – Horizon Dairy "Stumped" by Cow Protest

Denver, CO – Horizon Dairy, a subsidiary of Dean Foods, announced today that they were stumped by the behavior of many of their dairy cows. The cows, which are usually kept in “Organic Feed-Lots” broke out of their confinement and romped in nearby grass fields. They were sporting over-sized T-shirts that read “Tell Horizon We Want Fresh Grass, Not Organic Bull.”

John the Spoofer strikes again

John Langlois gets published again on the The Spoof website. Foggy Bottom Farms must be a good place for creative thought.

For several years the U.S. Department of Agriculture has been promoting a program called NAIS, the National Animal Identification System. The program has as its centerpiece the insertion of a RFID chip into every animal located on a farm, moving between farms or that have ever seen a farm on a trip to any part of America….

Link: The Spoof – NAIS Moves from Cows to Illegal Aliens

Monsanto Announces Accidental Cross Breeding of Boll Weevil and Chiggers on The Spoof

Gentleman farmer and friend John Langlois had a timely article published on The Spoof.

Congratulations John!!!

Monsanto Announces Accidental Cross Breeding of Boll Weevil and Chiggers.

Written by John Langlois

In a surprise announcement, Monsanto admitted what many have suspected for some time, that their genetically modified crop program is out of control. But unlike the usual complaints of ruined crops and dead farm animals, these complaints involved people.

Medical authorities in Indianapolis, Indiana were bewildered when patients began flooding local hospitals, claiming that bugs were eating holes in their butts. Upon closer examination, doctors discovered a new insect whose DNA has never been seen before. University entomologists say it appears to be a cross between a boll weevil and a chigger…. (continue)

Preaching to a Bear

A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher and a Rabbi…. …someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear…. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Conversion